you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
