Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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