dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
