My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Jerry, you need to find god
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
