shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
