So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
4 words: hood of his car
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
