You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
