dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
