if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
