Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
