No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
