you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
