is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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