We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize