Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
