He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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