I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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