just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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