you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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