I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
