she was so not down for the gang bang
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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