just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
