And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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