dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
