He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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