You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
