So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
