did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
