from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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