C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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