are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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