That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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