last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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