I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
