i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize