I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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