Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
