I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
