she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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