if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
