The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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