"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize