is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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