I can tuck mytits in my pants
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
