There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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