Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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