So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
