What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
