If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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