Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
