please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
