I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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