mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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