Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
