Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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