Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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