dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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