so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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