Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
