HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize