i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
