I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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