I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
