you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
