They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
