shes about as inviting as chlamydia
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize