I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
