So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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