She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She needs sedatives and a leash
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
