it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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