If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize