Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My liver is preforming stress tests.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
