What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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