I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is wine microwaveable?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize