I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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