That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
