is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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