hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
