I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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