"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
