Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
