I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
