my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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