so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
