my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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